It was Saturday night, the night after my wedding night and there was much cause to celebrate. I had taken a wife, and 2 daughters and was feeling all warm fuzzy inside. I told myself I would stay somewhat sober, being the new patriarch of the family I was in a position of responsibility. I watched everyone else get drunk until finally I said.... "I'll just have one margarita". Ah seduced by the tart frozen concoction that makes tequila actually taste good instead of tasting like ass and after I had finished my first, it began...... a night of much drinking and drunken goofiness. There was laughter and tears and loud singing of long forgotten Irish songs, my brother tried to sneak off to bed and I said NAY!!!! Not until we drain the arse out of the whiskey bottle. That's right, the tequila was gone, the spirits we drunk were but ghosts in the room now and we plunged ever deeper into drunkeness.......
I awoke with a loud scraping noise.....it was my eyelids scraping along my eyeballs, it hurt to blink, I wanted to die..... But death would not come for me, no instead I was to spend my morning wretching, with my head in the toilet praying for God to let me be. "Oh God, i'll never drink again" the words I said over and over awaiting some divine salvation to take away my self-inflicted perdition. But alas, God paid me no mind. It's said that God looks after drunks and little children, but once you sober/grow up you're no longer under his wing and left to your own salvation. I emerged from the bathroom to see my smiling father, his amusement caused by my pain. I placed my head on his shoulder and simply said "Daddy, i'm sick".... was I greeted with sympathy and pity? No, all i received was laughter and much fun made at my expense. A lesson has been learned, I shall know my limits and refrain from making such a jackass off myself next time. Next time i shall be the one laughing and making jokes, becuase it really seemed like they were enjoying it. :)
*note* specific details regarding specific things said while intoxicated have been omitted to save me from more laughter and such. Just think of all the drunken times you've had and the silly things you've said, and multiply it by about ten..... yeah, that's why I left it out. :P
2 comments:
That whisky had better have been a good bottle of Bushmills you lush. Grats on the wedding and taking of minions and many happy hangovers in the future.
PUNKIN.... well if amendment 2 passes, we will also marry sooner than expected. Grats and many happy days.
PS, I have found a liking for goldschlager :)
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